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I feel like absolute POOP.
i just woke up, and iapos;ve got to go to work. FOR 10 HOURS.
thatapos;s like. 50 quid. Which is like $100 for you crazy yanks. :apos;) who i love.

iapos;m concerned jessi hasnapos;t got her package, so my mummyapos;s ringing them to ask where it is. I would laugh so hard if i put the wrong address on.

aw my boyfriend is so sweet. He sends me little love messages in a morning, then randomly kisses me on the cheek and takes my hands and cuddles me AW.
love is so nice. :(((

only .. 6 days till i get to see him again. WE ARE SPENDING HALLOWEEN TOETGRHYTHGFM NH.

i love halloween.
and i love him.
so itapos;s just perfect.



untington OUT.

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I just want to apologize for last night. Iapos;m sorry if you regret anything. I just get really touchy feely and Iapos;m sorry if that scares you away. I like you so much Dylan and Iapos;m sorry if you donapos;t want to hear that, but I canapos;t keep it in any longer and I know that youapos;ve been through a lot, so donapos;t feel obligated about anything. I just want you to know the truth and that doesnapos;t change anything between us. Iapos;m still here to be your outlet, Iapos;m still here to be your friend.

Youapos;re a great person and you have a lot on your mind. I respect you a lot and I always appreciate your sincere honesty.

If you have to take a step back from me...i understand.

Iapos;m an intense and emotional person who feels a lot for people and I donapos;t want you to get caught up in that, because I know youapos;re confused. I see it in your eyes each and every time.

I donapos;t want you to feel like youapos;re trapped in a friendship you donapos;t want to be in. I care about you too much to see you suffer like this.

Every time Iapos;m around you I just want to be there for you completely and infinitely. You make my heart race and you give me something else to live for. The world is more vivd and intense when Iapos;m around you. I feel more real and more alive than Iapos;ve ever felt before. You help me understand a part of myself that Iapos;ve never really understood before.

The reason why Iapos;m telling you all of this is because I think the reason why a lot of friendships/relationships have failed is because many people are afraid to be sincerely and brutally honest. At this point, I donapos;t care, all i care about is you knowing the truth. This is what I feel deep down inside. This is what my heart feels each and every time I think about you and when Iapos;m with you.

But weapos;re still friends, and thatapos;s all that matters.
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Alright, its�a 200 cal day and iapos;ve had 0 cals in the form of water. Iapos;ve been sulking in my room all day long and i think iapos;m going to stay here. Its just been a shit couple of days. I need to look for a job. Just something part time because iapos;ll only be here for a year. Iapos;m in the uk btw, anyone near portsmouth? i got up and got dressed to exercise and i was instantly tired after like three situps because i feel so crappy, not like emotionally, just physically because iapos;m trying to get over a cold. And i couldnapos;t breath when i dropped my shoulder blades onto the floor. Tomorrow will be a three hundred cal day and iapos;m, not sure if iapos;m up for it.� this is going to sound like a dumb question but do you guys always eat the amount of cals? i set it as a limit, like i can eat less but whatever the cals are for that day are my limit.
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October 18, 2008

The bazaar this morning was interesting. Got there a little bit late o.o and nearly all the good stuff was gone. It seems there were people lining up half an hour early. So, no free rice cooker. Oh well. At least I managed to grab some food from the free lunch leftovers. Otherwise, I say thank you to all the mothers.

Took a look at the horse-back-riding club today along with Neeltje. Whew, I think it be best for me not to >< Although, I did have fun playing with the cats and the dogs. ; ; I feel so bad for the horses, in that they donapos;t really have much room to run free (no pasture). >> the spiders be huge in the barn. Travel expenses, insurance, getting the equipment, and being staying there overnight ... Is a bit much, especially when studies become more heavy. The students that helped, Fujisawa-san, uhmm and the other 2 ><;; canapos;t remember the names. Thank you so much for taking care of us

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Now that was the 2nd one where you realise things are just not the same, not the same at all. Lots of food present at both, missing people at both, feeling lost alone was quite common too. honey, why did you run away? all seems as though im the bad guy here that i screwed you over. Oh dear, we all need to get our priorities right, like why am i still upset even bothering.

oh brother, you knw how much i love you, why must you just kill everything?

a sore throat (pls pls God dont let it be a fever todaytmr. Monday is fine. Pls pls), a graphic comm drawing, marketing plan half a movie to watch before they arrive at 2. Enough with all the upsetting nonsense in my life, i need to run to ntuc get nuggets for them because i refuse to cook. if those boys annoy me at the back seat, they are getting out riding pillion on the bikes instead.

1 car 3bikes.
if it rains, good luck to us.

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Youapos;ve heard of that movie "Role Models," where Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott are losers who have to hang around with kids to avoid jail time, and one of the kids loves boobies and the other one is McLovin in a sword and a cape? You may not have guessed this from the previews, but the majority of this movie is about learning to love the LARP.

Freaks and Geeks tried to show off the wonders of DD, and now "Role Models" is trying to do the same for Live Action Role Playing. Go figure.

Also, in the credits, they had to include one for "The Ass Butt Song."

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Why does it seem like everytime im looking through my friends on social networking sites more and more of them are getting married or having babies?

seriously. Im only 24. Whats going on here?

im going to my dads this weekend. I applied to work at a halloween costume store, and im going to call them on friday and tell them to hire me because its only like 3 weeks of work and i would like to have that money for my venture out of the country.

also when i get back im going to look for a job because as much as people think its awesome having my mom send me money each month it really blows not to have any of my own.

i dont know why im not asleep yet.

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